honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
