Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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