I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
