I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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