Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
