I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
