there's paper in my vomit.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
