Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
