he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
