it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
