It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Randomize
