i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
