Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
