After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
