He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
