no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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