i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
