it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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