SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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