I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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