what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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