Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
