took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
