$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
