Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
