Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
