It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
