he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
