You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
