You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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