Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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