What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
