Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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