Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
