but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
