ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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