there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
