At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
