I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
