What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
