you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
