I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
They took my balls.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
