Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
