found the other keg... it's in the tree
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
