everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
bring money and cleavage
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
