They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
