I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
