So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
