No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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