I just threw up on my dentist
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
