I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I think people are normalizing furries
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
